While we’ve covered many topics this year, most pulled straight from Tom Hubler’s book, The Soul of Family Business, none have been covered with as much depth and time as trust, betrayal, and forgiveness. Because these topics are all so interconnected, for the end of 2019, we’ve pulled them all together in one place so you can reference them at-a-glance or send an easy roadmap to those in need of guidance. (Of course, for the truly comprehensive collection of all this advice, you can simply purchase The Soul of Family Business as a gift for others or even yourself.)
In August, we covered betrayal: what it means, how it happens, and what we can do to help fight it. Betrayal is defined as “a violence against confidence” and “a top destroyer of otherwise successful family businesses.” Betrayal can be any breach of trust, whether interpersonally (going against a loved one’s wishes) or professionally (divulging business secrets to a competitor), and can be done intentionally and maliciously, or simply inadvertently (this is especially true with families, where tight-knit bonds mean even minor breaches of confidence can result in seriously hurt feelings). Lastly, we covered the best method of handling betrayal: preventing it in the first place by creating a family business with explicit structures, boundaries, and responsibilities to mitigate the risk of relying on emotional responses and personal relationships to prop up a business.
In September, we went a step further and asked “if we’ve failed to prevent betrayal from occurring, how can we begin to heal the wound?” For many families, the answer to this lies in the Family Forgiveness Ritual™, which involves counseling both as individuals and as a family unit about what forgiveness means to each member of the family, what needs to happen to feel forgiveness, a ceremonial “cleansing” rooted in the family’s spiritual beliefs, and a celebration of newfound togetherness.
In October, we stepped back and put the Family Forgiveness Ritual™ into the broader context of how we define forgiveness and the benefits of forgiving, including allowing us to recognize hurt without dwelling on it, setting great examples to future generations, the ability to move forward without holding onto our pain, and more. We discussed more in-depth the process of counseling business families, including where in the process the Family Forgiveness Ritual™ typically occurs.
Over the course of these posts, we hope we’ve laid bare the arc of betrayal and forgiveness in business families: What betrayal is, how betrayal happens, and how best to prevent it; how we define forgiveness and the purpose it serves both for individuals and business families, and the process of identifying and resolving conflicts involving betrayal and fostering forgiveness through them.
In September, we went a step further and asked “if we’ve failed to prevent betrayal from occurring, how can we begin to heal the wound?” For many families, the answer to this lies in the Family Forgiveness Ritual™, which involves counseling both as individuals and as a family unit about what forgiveness means to each member of the family, what needs to happen to feel forgiveness, a ceremonial “cleansing” rooted in the family’s spiritual beliefs, and a celebration of newfound togetherness.
In October, we stepped back and put the Family Forgiveness Ritual™ into the broader context of how we define forgiveness and the benefits of forgiving, including allowing us to recognize hurt without dwelling on it, setting great examples to future generations, the ability to move forward without holding onto our pain, and more. We discussed more in-depth the process of counseling business families, including where in the process the Family Forgiveness Ritual™ typically occurs.
Over the course of these posts, we hope we’ve laid bare the arc of betrayal and forgiveness in business families: What betrayal is, how betrayal happens, and how best to prevent it; how we define forgiveness and the purpose it serves both for individuals and business families, and the process of identifying and resolving conflicts involving betrayal and fostering forgiveness through them.
Give the gift of family unity this holiday season
If you’ve found our blog here, it’s not likely that you’re just reading it for fun. Maybe your family has experienced serious divisions caused by breaches of trust or instances of betrayal. Maybe your business and your family functions pretty darn well, but you’re looking to take your relationships (both personal and professional) to the next level of intimacy and cooperation. Maybe you’re not even part of a business family, but you know someone who’s struggling to bring one together. Whatever reason you’re here, take this holiday season as an opportunity to jump head-first into the process of building the best business family you can. Every topic you’ve read in this series on betrayal, trust, and forgiveness comes straight from one book: The Soul of the Family Business by Tom Hubler. Through personal anecdotes, real-world case studies, useful tools and frameworks, and more, Hubler offers an in-depth look at how business families work to maintain healthy personal relationships. In one simple purchase, you can give someone you love (whether that be a friend, a family member, your entire family, or even yourself) the gift of an expansive guide to building a productive, efficient, and above all loving business family. For all of this, pick up The Soul of the Family Business, available in hardcover form on Amazon.com, directly through Itasca Books, or at a bookstore near you. And of course, if you’re ready to take the next steps, you can always contact Hubler for Business Families today to set up a free orientation meeting with Thomas Hubler, the expert on family business planning.
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