Entitlement: A Lesson in Two Stories

We’ve discussed nepotism—the act of those in power favoring friends and family members when hiring, promoting, or building a business—before, but now it’s time to talk about the flip side of this phenomenon: entitlement. While entitlement can exist in senior generations of a family business, it’s most commonly associated with younger generations, where younger-generation family members feel entitled to certain rolls or positions of power or authority in a business by virtue of simply being related to the business owner or leader.

In The Soul of the Family Business, Tom Hubler identifies entitlement as one of the “10 most prevalent obstacles of family business succession planning,” and describes an incident in which a younger-generation family member’s sense of entitlement threatened to derail an entire department within the business:

In a recent client situation, a thirty-year-old second-generation member of a family-owned business was about to embark on a self-destructive course to take over the sales department of his father’s organization… By having a discussion about expectations for his position and role with his supervisor and the director of sales, the son created a career plan and was able to realize the inappropriateness of his unrealistic expectations. As a result, the son was able to create a realistic career plan that met his goals, the needs of the non-family managers, and his father’s ambitions for his son’s success.
​- Tom Hubler, The Soul of the Family Business, p11

In that story, we see what people most commonly identify as a sense of entitlement: the son’s personal hubris and belief that his status in the family would allow him a “shortcut” to the top level of authority in his department. However, even conscientious, respectful adult children must be mindful when navigating a perceived sense of entitlement. Take the story of another son who took on a roll in his parents’ business: This son was hired on having been told in explicit terms that he was not entitled to any advantage within the business and that he needed to be careful, as the business was full of non-family-members who would assume he thought himself entitled to special privileges. So the son kept his head down, tried to stay “seen but not heard,” and did his best to always act in deference to non-familial employees. Imagine his shock when his annual performance review came, and his managers told him that his efforts to avoid seeming entitled had actually produced the exact opposite effect than he had intended: the non-familial staff had learned so little about him and his position that they feared he was being groomed to take over the company, or even secretly spy on their work to report to the owner! By acting more confidently, checking in and asking questions of his coworkers, and being open about the work he was hired (and qualified) to do, the son was able to build relationships with the whole team, who now find it supremely silly that they ever believed such wild conspiracies.

How to Eliminate Entitlement

The best solution to avoiding entitlement issues in a family business is, like many other issues, proper communication and planning within the business family. Using the B.O.S.S. method of conflict resolution and developing a Common Family Vision™ to foster a healthy sense of compassion and empathy towards the needs and goals of all family members in the business will allow family members of all generations to visualize and internalize the idea of the family business as a unit that needs to be kept healthy, not just a pathway towards individual success (although remember that individual goals and success should be considered when crafting a Common Family Vision™).

In The Soul of the Family Business, Hubler discusses not just issues of entitlement, but offers explanations of and solutions for his nine other most prevalent obstacles to family business succession planning. Through personal anecdotes, real-world case studies, useful tools and frameworks, and more, Hubler offers a wealth of lessons on succession planning and other common stressors within family businesses. For all of this, pick up The Soul of the Family Business, available in hardcover form on Amazon.com, directly through Itasca Books, or at a bookstore near you. And of course, you can always contact Hubler for Business Families today to set up a free orientation meeting with Thomas Hubler, the expert on family business planning.