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Secrets to Successful Family Meetings

7/20/2018

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In the past, we’ve spent plenty of time talking about the importance of family rituals: structured time and activities that bring family members together and reinforce the emotional bonds between us. These rituals can be incredibly personal and unique to each family, but there is one particular ritual that all business families should make use of: the family meeting. Regular family meetings are incredibly useful for resolving conflicts, strengthening personal connections, and recommitting to your visions for both the business and the family. A family meeting can take on a variety of appearances, but what follows are actions that will help make any family meeting as successful and productive as possible.

Remember your fundamental building blocks

Another topic we’ve covered in-depth in the past is the idea of the Family Vision: goals you and your family are striving to achieve based on your core shared values. Often, a business family will have multiple-but-interconnected visions—one for personal goals as a family unit, and one for business goals as a professional organization—and these visions should be a conscious central pillar of any family meeting. Your values and visions are the fundamental building block of any productive family meeting, as it allows all members to play on the same field: you may have different individual visions and life dreams, but reiterating a shared family vision ensures that every family member is striving towards the same end goal.

Maintain your focus

Few things are as frustrating as pointless, meandering meetings. A meeting for its own sake without any focus or structure will just foster resentment and antipathy, so it’s hugely important to go in with an idea of what needs to be covered, and this goes beyond just a topical outline: For example, a business owner has been updating her will, and calls her children together for a meeting about how ownership of the family business will be distributed between them should she suddenly pass away. That may be the surface-level topic, but a smart family will understand that this discussion is really about preparing for sudden changes and laying the groundwork for a rational, considered emergency succession plan. Your family meetings could cover an almost endless number of underlying themes: interpersonal relationships, succession issues, reconciling differing expectations and visions between family members, and countless more. The more you can drill down to the core purpose of every family discussion, the more successful your meetings will be.

Practice your skills

You can go into a family meeting with as much preparation as possible, but if you and your family aren’t committed to practicing the skills and behaviors necessary to communicate properly, it’ll be nearly impossible to have a truly productive meeting. Being conscious of how you’re talking and how you’re listening is imperative to creating a comfortable, open environment. Speaking clearly and respectfully will encourage others to understand your point of view in a discussion, while listening attentively and empathetically will put others at ease and encourage them to share their own feelings. When conflicts do arise, it’s important to be able to take each family member’s point of view into account and not dismiss them outright, as proper management of differing opinions will lead to cooperation and smooth problem solving. Having said this, we are emotional beings, and it’s natural for conflicts to lead to the occasional hurt feelings or disrespectful behavior. Being able to not only examine the root of these missteps but—importantly—also practice forgiveness is integral to successfully navigating thorny issues.

We haven’t mentioned “business” all that much in this post, and that’s because family meetings go well beyond just business needs. While they’re especially important for families juggling their business and their personal lives, productive meetings can be healthy for just about any family looking to improve their relationships. For advice on crafting beneficial and successful family meetings, contact Hubler for Business Families today to set up a free orientation meeting with Thomas Hubler, the expert on family business planning.
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